>Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends – The Beatles


I’m back at the Ukrainians. My affection for them is growing. My first night in London was a complete abortion, but that is how I roll. In true Italian fashion, I had more than a few glasses of wine at the movie premiere of “Skin” which is going to rock when it’s released on circuit, but that’s not the point. After some tasty phyllo pastry (my rhyming scheme has always been my gift) Claudia and I proceeded to walk home while I regaled her with tails of the Cape Town drama. Upon arriving at our street I happened to innocently suggest if she was keen for a nightcap at Potions, the local bar/restaurant on the corner of her road. Naturally she says yes, because my persuasive powers are legendary and we end up making friends with two random Chinese law students and a disgustingly good-looking Portuguese man from Joburg. My father later joked with me over the phone that I would be the one to go to another hemisphere to find myself a decent South African boy, but I digress completely…

After bonding over Jagermestier, double Jack, Tequila and god knows what else, Claudia left me to my own devices, which in retrospect was perhaps not such a good idea. But I conveniently forgot that she had to wake up the next morning at 6 and go to work to accommodate my own needs. If she doesn’t throw me out her apartment in the next week or so it’ll be a miracle. We do love each other deep down though, I swear. So fast forward a few hours and I wake up in bed, with all my clothes on and feeling doubly as crap as I would after a Monday night Mercury. But wait there’s more…

I then go to the bathroom and scream in horror as I see that I am now a proud owner of a huge bump on the bridge of my nose, accompanied by a lot of crusty dry blood. I then decide it might be a good idea to get some fresh air, considering that it was the hottest day in London since good knows when, and I make my way over to the local park. After about 10 minutes of lying on my back, I then get smacked with the full force of what I know now was the hangover from the seventh circle of hell and spent the next few hours totally incapacitated in bed. I now have a great little sore on my nose (which I have no idea how I got, but I’m presuming I either fell or wacked myself in the face), which will probably be there for the remainder of my trip. Photos of me might be scarce after this.

And in other news, Taxi Violence is on Twitter. Follow them.