>In the absense of distraction, there’s no charm in ravaging the splendour – aKING


I’m going to try and make this as short and concise as possible because week five of media is calling my name. I can hear it hollering its head off at me.


If you weren’t at Assembly last night, you missed one hell of a gig, seriaaas. Mikey and I arrived half-way through Thieve’s set and I obviously made a bee-line for the stage to find out what the hectic reverberation I heard downstairs was. Turned out it was Laudo. Guest vocaling on a track or two of Thieve’s. Now I think it’s pretty awesome when they all jump on the stage and support each other during their sets (especially taking into consideration that Thieve is nowhere near an aKING status) but as Z very plainly put it in-between Tequilas “What the hell is it with these boys from Bellville, stealing the limelight???” I never really thought of it like that. But then again, taking into consideration Thieve’s Andrew (vocals) and Phil (drums) live in a house with Snake IN Bellville, they’re probably up in each other’s grills so much that a cameo or two wouldn’t make a difference. “Up in each other’s grills??” I sound like I’m on gangsta crack today.
Retrospectively, it was a solid set (well what I saw anyway) and ‘Heart of Gold’ went down very very very nicely with the crowd. I love it when I’m right. There was some dude looking at me very strangely while I was singing along though. And no, I had nothing in-between my teeth.
A Mini-break at the bar was followed by a flawless aKING, with the exception of Laudo’s voice on one track towards the end that sounded as if he was gargling gravel, but nonetheless, these guys are epic. Snake was beating his drum kit so hard that after their second song the resident sound engineer had to readjust his mic. The man’s like a goddam hurricane. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the raised platform on that Assembly stage goddam shake like that.
It was also lekker to hear ‘The Wishing Well’ which Laudo explained they’ve never performed live before but honestly, I can understand why they would leave it out. It’s just not a crowd pleaser like, let says, ‘Safe as Houses’. The sheep love that shit. And it’s a brilliant excuse to get your lighter out and do a little sing-a-long. Don’t me wrong, when they blast that tune, I become a sheep like everyone else. Or perhaps a lamb. I’m going off on a tangent here…
The cherry on top was Laudo doing ‘Shine your light’, where he became the Piped Piper of Harrington Str. Well nearly anyway, basically singing the clothes off almost every girl watching. It’s a talent the man has – and I have to give him props for it. Also, is it just me, or does Hunter have masking tape holding his guitar together? Or perhaps it’s keeping the chords in place? Whichever. It’s gotten to the point where aKING’s set is just too big for places like Mercury/Assembly/Klein Libertas now. These guys have a sound so huge and all-encompassing that they need a stadium in which to do it justice. Bottom line, go big or go home. My money’s on go big.
And then it was tyd vir ‘n beitjie branna en so en so met Jack Parow. Now I love Jack Parow. I love everything about him. From that snor to that hat to that wife-beater. The man can do no wrong in my books. But I think his only downfall is the fact that not everybody will understand what he’s on about. It’s a shame. They should do PAROW101 as an introductory course at every tertiary education institution. Hell, they probably have one at Stellies already. Jack also interacts very nicely with his crowd, making people piss themselves laughing not only at his smart lyrics, but at his hilarious jokes. It’s not all just an act though, the guy genuinely is uber-funny. But honestly, my attention was pleasantly Savaged during his set, so I can’t really do it justice like I did at Klein Lib. Although I did manage to see Frannie and Pierre make nice little cameos during Jack’s set.
Highlight: The DJ playing a mish-mash of all Andy Samberg’s songs. Inggs and I almost had a heart attack. And on that note, I shall leave you with the genius that is Samberg on a goddam boat.

Side note: Electro group Does It Offend You, Yeah? has a manic instrumental track on their album called ‘Attack of the 60 ft Lesbian Octopus’. True Story. Also, does anyone know what the title of this post means?? Hmmm.