Apparently, Mercury retrograde is in Cancer right now. For those who care: this means things are going to get weird, chaotic and emotional. For those who don’t: this means some people around you are going to get weird,chaotic and emotional.
At least it gives us a great excuse to distract ourselves! So go get lost on a dance floor and forget about why a planet spinning in the opposite direction has such a profound effect on our mortal lives. Here’s five parties this month you should definitely go to:
BLACKMATH: “BLOOD SWEAT SPARKLES” Launch Party
I remember watching Blackmath at the Winston over a decade ago. The band was a newborn and Acacia was 14, and no less of a jaw dropping talent even then. Though they’ve kept a steady flow of EP’s coming, Blackmath’s last proper studio album came out in 2019, which makes the release of BLOOD SWEAT SPARKLES particularly momentous. Not to mention the truly inspired lineup, which includes post-metal outfit P+A+G+E+S and some crossover appeal with DJs Miggy Pop and Bahbahroo, known for cutting-edge breaks and experimental electronica.
When: 04 July 2026 / Where: EVOL, Cape Town / Tickets: Here
“Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee,” says Madonna at the start of “Girl Gone Wild”. “For I dread the loss of Heaven, and the pain of Hell.” Well, fret not Madge – you’re definitely getting past these pearly gates. Hosted by Joburg’s enfant-terrible of drag, the immaculate Angel, this “all pole-dancing” edition of Heaven promises a hot pink, super cute and freaky femme fantasyland, featuring killer sets from Joburg’s “It Girls” (OkayHlengi is on this list, so it checks out), pole dancing by “Celestial Bodies.”. Oh – and they allow twinks in too, apparently.
When: 04 July 2026 / Where: Smoking Kills, Johannesburg / Tickets: Here
The iconic strictly gqom night is back at Cape Town’s Apollo Warehouse for the second event of their winter series, following a session in Durban and preceding one in Jozi. This time, high energy Durban exports Da Soul Boyz are leading the charge. As always, there’s a strict no phones, no cameras, no video policy on the dance-floor. It’s a therapy session after all – so allow yourself to let go, listen, and live for the music. Because at this practice, the music is your doctor, and you’re not leaving until you are healed.
When: 11 July 2026 / Where: Apollo Warehouse, Cape Town / Tickets: Here
House Of Vlam Presents: The Interhouse Sports Kiki Ball
I just wrote a whole think piece on “Waka Waka”, so you best believe balls are on everyone’s mind at the moment. Cape Town’s chicest kiki house, The House Of Vlam, says you can kick your balls and walk them too. You might even win a prize for it! Categories include Best Dressed, Runway, Body, Realness, Sex Siren, and Vogue Performance. The field is set, the houses are ready, and the competition is fierce. Everyone wants their hands on the ball! The question is – how long can you hold onto it? Let’s find out who’s Best In Show.
When: 11 July 2026 / Where: Botanik Social House, Cape Town / Tickets: Here
For those of you looking for a gentler landing out of the shenanigans of Pride Month, SUNDAZExTHEM has you covered. Their event Soft Serve (top tier name, by the way) is a daytime affair for the queer community to connect in the sun for a change (I hear some of you hissing like vampires). This edition is focused on catering to queer women and friends of queer women, with “food, music, conversation, ease. Just a long Sunday afternoon somewhere nice with people who get it.” Who doesn’t want a lick of that?
When: 26 July 2026 / Where: Mamakashaka & Friends, Johannesburg / Tickets: Here
